Do you remember that song? The other day, a friend of mine told me she had e-mailed her husband to meet his girlfriend at a destination at 7 o'clock. Wow! Can you imagine what he was thinking? His excitement and wonder?
Another friend of mine sent his wife flowers to be delivered the day after he went hunting. I was there to see the surprise on her face and look in her eyes when they came. Smart man!
I am sure you have seen people who expect their spouse to fulfill them or satisfy them. That's a lot of pressure! I don't know about you but often, I don't know what will satisfy me. Most of the time, it's time with God, vision or a good cup of coffee I am missing! There are even those who withhold affection and adoration as a result of their spouse not measuring up. I have fallen into this trap before. I have only found it to be unfruitful, in every way.
God is the only one who can fulfill my needs. Sure, He uses my spouse but if I am in need, God is the first One I go to. He is the only one Who sees the depths of my heart, knows everything about my past, present and future. He is the One who can turn the heart of my husband to me and the heart of me to him. He gives me the grace to forgive and the grace to love the unlovable (my husband is not the unlovable!).
To rely on my husband to satisfy me or measure up only puts pressure on him that even God doesn't put on him. Nowhere in the Bible does it say my husband has to satisfy me. It DOES say God will fulfill all my desires, satisfy me and perfect or complete all that concerns me.
The Bible admonishes us to pursue love. Love is not a feeling or a result, it's a verb. Love is an action, not a result. It is good to know God loves me, even in my most unlovable state! His love never stops.
I want to do more for my husband like my e-mailing girlfriend. She took her husband on an adventure and had a fantastic evening. He felt special. I want to tap into the depths of God as my source. Don't you? Do it today. Get with Him.
As for our spouses, instead of asking "What have you done for me lately, ya ya ya," let's ask let's ask ourselves, "What can I do for him/her today, ya ya ya!" I know God will give you little ideas...Got any? Post them so we can use them!
(I know there are those who desire more time with your spouse and practical things...pray first, communicate when it's not the "heat of the moment" or maybe even the same day, get outside help to communicate, pray, take the pressure off of him/her and pursue love...watch what will happen!)
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3 comments:
Surprise love notes are always fun! I have written them on banana peels when I packed his lunch, left them inside his work boots, on his steering wheel, on the mirror in lipstick with lots of kissses, or a CD left in his truck I made just for him of his favorite songs. Sometimes doing the unexpected gets you the expected. I LOVE to do things like this!
I agree, I agree!!! I have found that the more I free my husband up by NOT having such expectations, the more he EXCEEDS my expectations!! The more I purposefully seek the things he DOES to, instead of focusing on the things he might not, the more peace I have and the more I tend to want to do things for him - if I want a date night, I plan it myself...flowers...yep! :) And it's a tremendous blessing to know that I can find my happiness and peace in Jesus, wherever my marriage happens to be that day!
Wow! Thanks for the ideas and comments.
Here are a couple of things I do...
For the two weeks leading up to Valentine's Day, i have set notes out for Jeff...all over the house and car.
If I feel like I am not getting enough of his time and he wants to go out and doing a "guy thing," I let him. I don't say a word or make a funny face that I know he'll recognize. (-: I wait until the following day, after I have prayed, sought God and have a clear perspective. 99% of the time, I end up realizing it was hormones or something and am over it in the morning. Yes, I seek God. It felt foreign for a while, to seek Him about wanting to be with my husband but it works and it will work for you.
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