Jeff and I were at dinner with friends last night when I began to share a principle we use in our communication. This is a tool we learned from our life coach, Shandel. Now, Jeff and I get along very well but this just took our relationship and communication to another level.
The principle is called S.A.L.T. It is an acronym for Solve, Advice, Listen and Talk.
He and I work together and play together. Because of this, we have to know what "hat" to wear at which times. When I ring him or go to his office, I begin by letting him know how much time I am going to need. Okay people, let's just fess up that not everyone is like us. Not everyone wants to stop what they are doing and chat. Nor does everyone want to hear about what so and so did at lunch (especially if they are movie stars!).
Speaking of movie stars...why are we so enthralled about their lives? The more we focus on them, the less we are fully present for our own. I don't know why it bothers me so much but it makes me scream, "Get a life!" Or, "YOU have a life, live it!" And why are they determining what we wear? They get their stuff for free anyway. So, we're shelling out the dough and they are never wearing the same thing twice. Which leads us to shell out more dough.
My proposal...let's focus on the greatness God placed in each of us, take the unrealistic standards off our lives and be you...the YOU GOD CREATED. That's where your greatest anointing lies.
So we're back to S.A.L.T. I tell Jeff how much time I will take and never take more than that. I want to show him I care about his time and if he doesn't have that much time, he can tell me and I won't get offended or think he doesn't care. We'll just set up a later time.
Once I got the time down, I let him know if I want him to help me Solve the problem, I need his Advice before I solve the problem, I need him to just Listen and not give any advice (sometimes I need to talk myself into the solution) or I need him to Talk with me.
This worked so well, we began instituting it around the office. I have found it places added respect for the other person as well as what is being shared.
At times it is really great to add some external boundaries to an internal relationship. No one is identical and everyone is dealing with different stressors. As a result, our communication filter is different from anyone else. Try S.A.L.T. and watch your relationships grow.
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